Miners, Power, or Bust! 🚀💰 The 2028 Halving Doom Looms

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Oh, the Woes of the Digital Gold Diggers! 🤑💨

  • Behold! MARA’s sage, Fred Thiel, proclaims: “Own thy power, or perish in the shadows of the halving!” ⚡⚰️
  • The little fish, tethered to the grid, shall flounder as profits vanish like a ghost in a Gogol tale. 👻💸
  • Only the mighty, with energy in hand and innovation in heart, shall dance at the 2028 masquerade. 🎭🔋

Ah, the bitcoin mining farce! A circus of woe, where competition grows like noses in a Gogol story, energy demands soar like a madman’s laughter, and profits shrink like a timid soul in a haunted house. So speaks Fred Thiel, the MARA maestro, with a sigh as deep as a Russian winter.

What Sorcery is This “Mining”?

Mining, dear reader, is the alchemy of our age! 🧙‍♂️✨ With machines of great power, miners solve riddles of the blockchain, earning digital gold for their toil. Yet, this gold is not endless, and the riddles grow harder with each passing day. A zero-sum game, Thiel laments, where the weak are crushed under the weight of their own energy bills. 💔🔢

The Zero-Sum Ballet of Woe

“A zero-sum game!” Thiel cries to CoinDesk, his voice echoing through the halls of digital despair. “As one rises, another falls, and the floor is but the cost of thy energy!” 🕳️💸 The divide widens: the haves and the have-nots, the innovators and the doomed. Some flee to AI or HPC, while others are devoured by the very hardware they once worshipped. 🦈💻

“Hardware vendors, once servants, now masters!” Thiel notes with a bitter chuckle. “The hashrate grows, and margins wither like autumn leaves.” 🍂📉

The 2028 Halving: A Specter Haunting Miners

What is This “Halving” of Which You Speak?

Every four years, the gods of bitcoin decree: “Thy reward shall be halved!” 🔪💰 A cruel joke to keep the digital gold scarce. By 2028, the reward shrinks to a mere 1.5 BTC, leaving many miners gasping for breath. Unless the price soars like a Gogol hero’s imagination, or fees rise like a bureaucrat’s ego, the end is nigh. ⚰️💹

“Transaction fees, the promised savior, have failed us!” Thiel laments. “If bitcoin grows not by 50% or more, the math becomes a nightmare by 2028, and a horror by 2032.” 🤯📉

The Plight of the Small Fry

The small miners, poor souls, are squeezed like lemons in a bureaucrat’s hand. 🍋😢 While the giants consolidate, controlling energy and building private empires, the little ones are left to plug into the grid, their days numbered like pages in a Gogol novel. 📅⚡

“Our strategy? To be in the lowest quartile of cost!” Thiel declares with a sly grin. “For in this game, 75% must fall before we do.” 😈💪

“By 2028, thou shalt be a power generator, owned by one, or partnered with one,” Thiel prophesies. “The grid-dependent miner shall vanish like a character in a Gogol tale.” 🌪️🔌

The Silver Lining in the Mining Cloud

Yet, fear not, dear reader, for mining is not all doom and gloom! 🌈✨ Miners, the guardians of the blockchain, ensure transactions are true and the system runs like a well-oiled machine. They earn their digital gold and fees, and their toil drives innovation, creating faster, more efficient machines. 🚀🔧

But beware, the 2028 halving looms like a Gogol specter. Only those who master energy and embrace innovation shall survive, while the grid-dependent shall fade into obscurity. 🌑💨

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2025-11-12 10:33