What to know:
- H.C. Wainwright, that financial alchemist of chaos, declared war on Wall Street’s caution with a flourish of their quill, upgrading Coinbase from “sell” to “buy” like a poet switching from haiku to rap. 🎩➡️🎤
- Their price target? A majestic leap from $300 to $425-because why let reality cramp your crypto dreams? 🚀
- They claimed crypto’s rise is “seasonal strength,” “institutional demand,” and “regulatory momentum”-a trinity of buzzwords so sacred even a bear market would kneel. 🙌
Investment bank H.C. Wainwright, that paragon of fiscal jujitsu, flipped Coinbase (COIN) from “sell” to “buy” and raised its price target to $425, all before the crypto exchange even opened its quarterly report’s front door. 🚪✨
Their bullishness? A masterclass in optimism: crypto prices, they said, are dancing to the tune of “seasonal strength” (read: summer vibes), “institutional demand” (read: big banks pretending to care), and “favorable regulatory momentum” (read: politicians nodding while shrugging). 🕺
Coinbase, that digital gold digger, served up $1.9 billion in revenue-$100 million more than FactSet’s pitiful guesswork-thanks to trading frenzies, asset price rebounds, and subscription services that probably involve NFT cat photos. 🐱🖼️
Coinbase shares, however, were sulking at $318.50 in early trading, as if embarrassed by their own success. 😬
H.C. Wainwright, undeterred by the U.S. government’s midday nap (aka the shutdown), prophesied that Senate legislation will pass by year-end like a toddler’s bedtime story. Such progress, they claimed, could rocket Coinbase’s shares to the moon-assuming the moon has Wi-Fi. 🌕📶
The analysts, armed with spreadsheets and delusions of grandeur, predicted Coinbase will outearn expectations in 2025, fueled by subscription fees, retail trading spreads (a euphemism for gambling), and the August acquisition of Deribit-a move that screams “I bought a pet tiger for my LinkedIn.” 🐅💼
For 2025, they now see $7.4 billion in revenue (up from $7.1 billion), with adjusted EPS of $4.99. Their $425 target? A 13.1x multiple on 2026’s $9.1 billion estimate-math so elegant it could win a Nobel, if only they’d stop whispering “crypto” like it’s a forbidden fruit. 🍐
But beware! Risks loom: Coinbase’s reliance on retail traders (i.e., people who think “HODL” is a yoga pose), crypto’s wild mood swings, regulatory whiplash, and competition from entities that probably sell Bitcoin-flavored gum. 🍽️
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2025-10-31 16:59