Crypto Crash: Stocks Sink Like Chekhov’s Broken Dreams! 📉😩

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Markets

What to know, if one must:

  • Crypto-linked stocks, especially those bitcoin miners masquerading as AI wizards, were tumbling in a most ungraceful manner during Wednesday’s early American frolics. 😂
  • Galaxy Digital, ever the pivot master, plummeted 15%, devouring its post-earnings feast like a tragic hero’s illusion. 😏
  • Bitcoin clung stubbornly near $108,000, yet still a shadow of its Tuesday zenith of $114,000-ah, the fleeting joys of prosperity! 💔

On this wretched Wednesday, crypto’s children were soundly thrashed, with bitcoin miners-those clever chaps now posing as AI sages-enduring the harshest blows, as if in a Chekhovian farce where dreams crumble without the courtesy of a stage curtain. 🙄

Bitfarms (BITF), Cipher Mining (CIFR), Hut 8 (HUT), and others slunk 10%-15% lower in the dawn’s pale light. Galaxy (GLXY), the digital crumbs collector with ambitions toward data empires, suffered a 15% haircut, erasing Tuesday’s meager triumphs like forgotten lines in an old play. 😜

The CoinShares Bitcoin Mining ETF (WGMI), that soothsayer of the sector, was 7% adrift, its fortunes as fickle as human folly. 🎭

Even crypto’s outliers weren’t spared: Bakkt Holdings (BKKT), after its absurd 300% leap earlier, dogged another 7.5% dive, now 40% lighter in a mere week-truly, why bother with such ephemeral flights? MicroStrategy (MSTR), hoarding coin like a miserly uncle, dipped 4% to under $290. 💸

Peering at Coinbase (COIN), Robinhood (HOOD), Bullish (BLSH), and Gemini, one finds sharp declines of 5%-6%, as if the market whispered, “Enough of your delusions, comrades.” 😒

Bitcoin hovered at $108,000, a pittance from Tuesday’s $114,000 glory, while Wall Street’s Nasdaq shed 1%, its chipmakers weeping like abandoned props. 🫠

The AI Spectacle Fades, Like a Dull Provincial Tale

The miners’ steep descent hints their grand, multi-moon ascent-fueled by fantasies of data center gold-has curdled in risk’s sour glare, leaving one to chuckle at fate’s irony. 🤡

At peak frenzy, these AI progeny boasted a $95 billion cap; now, a mere $82 billion, per Farside’s grim ledger-such is the comedy of markets. 🙃

Bitfarms (BITF), once soaring 400% from September, has tumbled 40%, scrabbling above $4, while IREN (IREN), up 400% this year and 200% since September, has slid 30% from its $73 apex, now nigh unto $52-oh, the tragic futility! 😢

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2025-10-22 19:01