Bitcoin Heist! ⛏️ Care Homes Targeted.

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One is tempted to think that the relentless march of progress occasionally stumbles over a rather grubby patch of human greed. In Hong Kong, it appears this is indeed so. Two technicians, evidently possessed of more ambition than sense, have found themselves in the wholly regrettable situation of being arrested for pilfering electricity from establishments dedicated to the care of the disabled. All for the sake of… digital dust, naturally.

A Most Unsavoury Discovery

The culprits, a pair of fellows aged 32 and 33 – one suspects their mothers are deeply embarrassed – were engaged in a clandestine operation to power a bitcoin mining enterprise. The poor institutions in question were rendered with electricity bills inflated to the tune of US$1,153 (HK$9,000). A most significant sum, one might observe, which could presumably have gone towards, oh, I don’t know… actual care? 🤔 The detection of the swindle, naturally, came about not through brilliant police work, but because the internet slowed to a crawl – a tragedy in this modern age – and the utility bills started to resemble something from a particularly profligate sheikh’s accounts.

The South China Morning Post reports that eight of these illicit devices were cunningly – or so they thought – concealed within the suspended ceilings of two offices. Five were located in the somewhat down-at-heel district of Sham Shui Po, while the remaining three enjoyed a slightly more salubrious existence in Kwun Tong. One pictures the scene: a veritable spiderweb of cables and humming machinery tucked away above the heads of the unsuspecting, and likely rather bored, pensioners.

Inspector Ng Tsz-wing, a fellow who clearly has better things to do, informed us that the initial complaint arrived on September 4th. “The institution found unusual signs of slowness…and discovered unauthorized equipment.” Authorized equipment, one presumes, would involve things like televisions and comfortable armchairs, not vast power-hungry computing arrays. 🙄

Further investigations revealed a second infestation in Sau Mau Ping. The villains, it seems, exploited a recent facilities upgrade as a convenient opportunity to connect their apparatus to the unsuspecting care homes’ systems. The sheer audacity!

The pair were duly apprehended in Mong Kok and Sham Shui Po and charged with “abstracting electricity” – a rather prim description for what amounts to blatant theft. They face a maximum sentence of five years, a prospect that may give them pause before embarking on another scheme. Authorities assure us this is an isolated incident, which is comforting, though one rather doubts it. A whole generation, after all, seems determined to find ever more imaginative ways to fund their digital fantasies. 🤡

Inspector Ng, in a display of commendable common sense, has urged the public to maintain vigilance during renovations. One can hardly blame him. “Pay attention to electricity bills…make relevant checks.” Such simple advice, yet so often ignored. 🤷 The investigation continues, and the names of the affected institutions are, naturally, being kept discreet. One suspects they would rather not be associated with this decidedly undignified affair. The case, inevitably, has re-ignited concerns about the misuse of public resources and the truly staggering energy consumption of this ‘crypto’ nonsense.

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2025-09-12 07:58