Congress Wants a Bitcoin Stash-Because Why Not? đŸȘ™đŸ›ïž

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In a move that surprised exactly no one except maybe their grandkids, US lawmakers have cooked up a bill ordering the Treasury Department to dust off their computers and scribble a report on whether the government can casually stash Bitcoin like it’s summer beach cash. Yes, a “strategic Bitcoin reserve” and a digital asset pile are suddenly things we’re thinking about. Because nothing says “fiscally responsible” like putting your eggs in a blockchain basket.

The piĂšce de rĂ©sistance came last Friday when Representative David P. Joyce decided it was prime time to tell Treasury to figure out the “feasibility, custody, legal authority, and cybersecurity” of government-owned digital coins. And hey, let’s ask them to do it in 90 days-because that’s plenty of time in the glacial pace of government projects.

Bitcoin reserve concept

But wait, there’s more paperwork! The bill also wants the Treasury to map out how Bitcoin will shuffle between departments, how it’ll look on their balance sheet (probably under “That Thing We Don’t Totally Understand”), and which third-party contractors will be the lucky custodians of Uncle Sam’s digital piggy bank.

Apparently, the Treasury also has to spell out what might trip them up-because who doesn’t love a good obstacle report? Plus, they’re supposed to ponder how this will affect the Forfeiture Fund, proving once and for all that even government crypto adventures have to worry about pesky stuff like budgets.

Remember back in March when Donald Trump signed an executive order suggesting the government start hoarding confiscated crypto? Yeah, that’s the same plan. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent has been dropping hints about “budget-neutral pathways” to fatten this Bitcoin reserve, though exactly what that means is probably best left to cryptic government jargon enthusiasts.

So far, this bill is waltzing through Congress-next stop, the Senate. And somewhere, Representative Joyce is beaming on X, thanking everyone for letting his brainchild run free, declaring this all about “fiscal responsibility,” “new technology,” and “national security.” Because when you mix those three, it’s hard not to sound like a tech-savvy superhero.

Meanwhile, the rest of the world isn’t sitting still (because they’re not on Capitol Hill)

Kazakhstan’s president Kassym-Jomart Tokayev announced plans to create a “strategic crypto reserve,” which sounds like he’s hoarding internet gold in a high-tech vault somewhere far from prying eyes.

The Philippines isn’t far behind, flirting with the idea of a 10,000 Bitcoin reserve. If they pull it off, they’ll be the Southeast Asian pacesetters boldly Bitcoining where no Congress has gone before.

And in case you were wondering how this stacks up globally, over 517,000 BTC are currently packed away in national reserves-about 2.46% of all the Bitcoin out there, according to Bitbo. Because nothing says “leading the digital revolution” quite like storing a fraction of a fraction on your balance sheet.

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2025-09-09 10:12