BREAKING: Robinhood’s S&P 500 Triumph & Saylor’s Subtle Setback 😂

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In a turn of events most unexpected, Robinhood (HOOD), that intrepid purveyor of digital coinage, hath been bestowed with the esteemed honour of inclusion in the S&P 500 index-a veritable hall of fame for the most esteemed American enterprises. One might imagine the very stocks themselves clapped their hands in delight.

This grand proclamation, rendered by S&P Dow Jones Indices, hath stirred the teacups of the financial elite, particularly as whispers of Strategy’s (ahem) potential inclusion had been circulating like gossip at a country ball. Alas, it appears Mr. Saylor’s grand design did not secure an invitation to this particular soiree.

Robinhood Joins S&P 500

Robinhood’s company in this illustrious circle shall be AppLovin, a purveyor of digital advertisements, and Emcor, a specialist in mechanical and electrical contrivances. These worthy candidates shall supplant MarketAxess, a bond-trading virtuoso, and Enphase Energy, a solar inverter artisan, on the 22nd of September. One might say it is the season of change!

Upon the announcement, Robinhood’s shares experienced a most agreeable ascent, rising 7.3% in the extended hours of trading. AppLovin followed suit with a 7% increase, while Emcor’s fortunes brightened by 2.2%. A veritable feast for shareholders! 📈

Notably, Robinhood’s stock hath doubled in value this year, buoyed by the cryptocurrency market’s recent enthusiasm, elevating its market capitalisation to a rather impressive £91.5 billion. One might say the market is quite enamoured with its charms. 💸

No Official Comment From Strategy

Earlier this year, Coinbase secured its place in the S&P 500, a triumph for the digital asset fraternity and a testament to the sector’s burgeoning legitimacy under the watchful eye of the esteemed Donald Trump administration. A most fortuitous alliance.

The announcement coincides with a rather cryptic missive from Mr. Saylor on the digital ether (formerly known as Twitter), wherein he assured his followers that Strategy’s prospects remain unshaken: “Nasdaq’s new position on digital asset treasury formations doth not affect Strategy, our ATMs, or our other capital markets activities.” A masterclass in British understatement.

As of this writing, no formal statement hath been issued by Strategy or Mr. Saylor himself regarding their exclusion from the index. One might speculate that Mr. Saylor is merely biding his time, or perhaps indulging in a spot of tea and contemplation… 🫖

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2025-09-06 02:58