🤑 Crypto Chaos: Congress Finally Agrees on Something? 🤯

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So, apparently, the U.S. government is finally getting its act together on digital asset regulation. 🎉 Or are they? Representative French Hill, who I’m guessing is not related to the French hills I hiked last summer (spoiler: I didn’t hike any), is all proud that his Clarity Act got 78 Democrat votes. 🥳 Yes, 78! That’s like, almost enough to fill a small conference room. Meanwhile, the Republicans are also on board, because why not? It’s not like they have anything better to do. 🤷‍♂️

Now the ball’s in the Senate’s court, where Senator Tim Scott is probably juggling this bill like it’s a hot potato. 🥔 Hill’s like, “Hey Senate, just take my bill, tweak it a little, and call it a day.” Sounds easy, right? Wrong. This is Congress we’re talking about. They’ll probably turn it into a debate about whether pineapple belongs on pizza. 🍍🍕

NEW: Chairman @RepFrenchHill on digital asset market structure legislation:

“The CLARITY Act in the House, which I wrote, got 78 Democrat votes here in the House. … We got such overwhelming support by Democrats and Republicans. … I would hope that the Senate would consider…

– Financial Services GOP (@FinancialCmte) September 3, 2025

Senator Scott’s optimistic that 12 to 18 Democrats might get on board. 🎢 That’s a lot of maybes. Meanwhile, Kirsten Gillibrand and Cynthia Lummis are in the mix, probably trying to keep everyone from throwing hands. 🤜🤛 Hill’s hoping this thing passes in a few weeks, but let’s be real-Congress moves slower than a snail on a Sunday. 🐌

Fed’s Freaking Out Over Stablecoins

Over at the Jackson Hole Symposium (which sounds like a fancy ski trip but is actually just a bunch of economists talking), Fed Governor Mickey Bowman called digital assets a “seismic shift.” 🌋 Yeah, Mickey, we get it-crypto’s shaking things up. But don’t worry, Hill’s got it covered. He says stablecoins are just a “new payment method,” not a bank-killer. 💳 Banks will still get to issue these dollar-backed coins, so they’re not completely out of the game. Phew. 🏦

Hill also mentioned that stablecoin issuers will have to hold assets in banks or U.S. Treasury bills. So, basically, the government’s still in control. Surprise, surprise. 🤑

CBDC Drama: Government vs. Private Sector

Then there’s the whole CBDC (Central Bank Digital Currency) debate. Europe’s got their digital euro, and now everyone’s like, “What about us?” Hill’s team is pushing for private sector solutions, because apparently, consumer choice and financial privacy are still a thing. 🕵️‍♂️ Meanwhile, the House passed the Anti-CBDC Surveillance State Act, which sounds like something out of a dystopian novel. 📚 But don’t worry, there are competing proposals, so this drama’s far from over. 🍿

So, will the Clarity Act actually bring clarity? Or will it just add more confusion to the crypto circus? 🎪 Only time will tell. But one thing’s for sure: Congress is finally talking about something other than their lunch menus. 🥪

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2025-09-03 23:34