Markets: Where Logic Goes to Die
Ah, the cryptocurrency market-where “spinning bottoms” sound like a dance move and “descending trendlines” could be a rejected Bond villain catchphrase. 🤹♂️
What You Need to Know (Or Pretend to Understand):
- XRP drew something called a “spinning bottom” candlestick pattern-which, frankly, sounds like a euphemism for a bad day at the gym.
- Bitcoin broke through a trendline like a bull in a china shop, only to realize it’s still trapped in bearish purgatory.

XRP: $2.8156 ◢0.32% (Because nothing says excitement like a fraction of a percent change.)
Disclaimer: This analysis comes from someone with more acronyms after their name than most people have in their entire LinkedIn bio. Take that as you will.
XRP: The Spinning Bottom Saga
XRP, that lovable underdog of the crypto world, decided to draw a “spinning bottom” on Monday-a pattern so whimsical it belongs in a modern art gallery. Essentially, prices flailed around like a toddler on a sugar high but ended up right where they started. Classic.
This pattern, appearing after a 25% drop from July’s peak, suggests that maybe-just maybe-sellers are getting tired of kicking XRP while it’s down. Buyers are tentatively raising their hands like shy students in a classroom, whispering, “Um, excuse me, can we maybe not lose all our money today?”
But before you mortgage your house to buy XRP, remember: this is crypto. The only certainty is uncertainty. The spinning bottom is like a horoscope-vaguely promising but requiring further confirmation (like a green candle or a lucky horoscope reading).
Not Out of the Woods Yet (Because Crypto Loves Drama)
The moving averages are still pointing downward like disappointed parents, and the Guppy band (yes, that’s a real thing) has turned bearish. If XRP breaks below Monday’s low of $2.69, well… let’s just say it won’t be pretty.
Bullish Undercurrents? Or Just Wishful Thinking?
The MACD histogram has been negative since late July, but XRP has been stubbornly bouncing between $2.70 and $3.00 like a ping-pong ball in a wind tunnel. If the MACD crosses bullish, we might see a rally. Or not. Who knows? 🤷♂️
- Support: $2.69 (Monday’s low), $2.65 (May’s high), $2.48 (the 200-day SMA-because numbers make it sound official).
- Resistance: $2.84 (Monday’s high), $3.38 (August high), $3.65 (July high-aka “the good old days”).
Bitcoin: Breaking Trendlines Like It’s 1999
Bitcoin, ever the drama queen, broke through a descending trendline like it was a ribbon at a marathon finish line. But don’t celebrate yet-it’s still stuck below key resistance levels, the Ichimoku cloud (which sounds like a weather phenomenon), and various moving averages.
Translation: Bitcoin’s current outlook is about as cheerful as a Monday morning meeting. Until it breaks above the Ichimoku cloud, expect more sideways action with a side of existential dread.
- Support: $107,286 (Monday’s low), $100,000 (psychologically important, like round numbers), $98,330 (June’s low).
- Resistance: $110,756 (Ichimoku cloud), $111,728 (100-day SMA), $115,780 (50-day SMA).
Read More
- Big-Bank Heist Alert! Citi Eyes 280-Bn-Dollar Stablecoin Stash While Fed Naps 😱
- ETH PREDICTION. ETH cryptocurrency
- TRUMP PREDICTION. TRUMP cryptocurrency
- Bitcoin: One Candle Away from Glory or Disaster?
- Ethereum: The Bears Are Trapped, But Will They Escape? 😅🐻
- GBP USD PREDICTION
- Ethereum’s Fate: Will Retail Traders Sink or Swim ETH to $3,000? 🌊💰
- STX PREDICTION. STX cryptocurrency
- MemeCoin Madness: How M Became the Market’s Favorite Darling (Until It Isn’t)
- EUR PLN PREDICTION
2025-09-02 11:47