Well, well, well, what do you know? The stock of KindlyMD, that paragon of healthcare services, has taken a nose dive-12% in a single day! 🚀 But wait, there’s more! After-hours, it dropped another 2.7%, leaving investors scratching their heads like a dog with a bone. 💸
Following its recent merger with Nakamoto Holdings, KindlyMD decided to dabble in Bitcoin, a move as wise as a squirrel building a nut cache in a hurricane. 🐿️ The company’s plan? Sell $5 billion in stock to fund its crypto obsession, because nothing says “financial stability” like betting the farm on digital gold. 🏦
The CEO, David Bailey, claims this is “the natural next phase of growth,” while also advising the Trump administration on crypto policy. One might say he’s as reliable as a weather forecast in a tornado. 🌪️ The proceeds? To buy more Bitcoin, make acquisitions, and “invest in strategic projects.” Sounds like a solid plan-unless the market decides to play hide-and-seek. 🕵️♂️
Meanwhile, Red Light Holland’s psychedelic truffles company bought Bitcoin ETFs and plans to trade with “advanced algorithms.” Because nothing says “serious business” like combining hallucinogens and high-frequency trading. 🧠🌀
Despite the drop, KindlyMD’s stock has surged 330% since May. It’s like a rollercoaster that forgot to stop at the bottom. 🎢 But hey, if you can’t beat the market, join it-while it’s still moving. 🏃♂️💨
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2025-08-27 11:17