EminiFX Founder’s $228M Payout? Pretty, Pretty, Pretty Bad 🤑

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So get this – some guy running a crypto scam actually has to pay back the money? What is this, Opposite Day? 🤣 According to some judge named Caproni (probably wears a robe to brunch), Alexandre and his “EminiFX” nonsense are on the hook for nearly $230 million. That’s enough money to buy half of Beverly Hills or one decent New York studio apartment!

Here’s where it gets even juicier – the guy already pleaded guilty in criminal court and is serving nine years. Nine years! That’s like two seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm! And get this – he’s got to pay $213 million restitution there too. Guys like this make Bernie Madoff look like an amateur.

This EminiFX scam launched in 2021 promising “Robo-Advisor Assisted Accounts” that would make people rich. You know what they were really assisting with? Transferring money into Alexandre’s pockets! 💸 The genius blew $15 million on luxury cars and credit card bills – probably all season parking tickets if he brought those cars to Manhattan.

The whole thing collapsed in May 2022 when – surprise! – investigators discovered it was a Ponzi scheme. How original! Didn’t these guys ever see The Producers? You’d think scammers would come up with something new by now…

A court-appointed receiver is trying to get money back to victims (good luck with that). Meanwhile, crypto scams continue to flourish because apparently we still haven’t learned that if something sounds too good to be true, it’s probably being run out of a Miami strip mall.

Just a friendly reminder: If some guy promises you 10% weekly returns while wearing sunglasses indoors, maybe don’t give him your life savings. Just a thought.

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2025-08-21 05:46