The Fed’s Cruel Game: Bitcoin’s Descent and Mankind’s Suffering

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Dear tormented soul, in this brief, we descend into the crypto abyss-a realm where hope flickers like a dying candle amid the tempest of macroeconomic despair. Monday’s edition, a tragicomedy of last week’s follies and next week’s doomed predictions, is brought to you by Paul Kim, a man who drinks green tea while the world burns 🧠💸🍵.

Bitcoin, that mercurial beast, was cast down from its $124,000 pinnacle into the shadowy valley of $117,000, its wings clipped by the icy breath of inflation. Oh, the Fed’s promised “three cuts” now wither to two-a biblical plague of restraint! 📉

The Waning Hope of Rate Cuts, a Tale of Inflation’s Wrath

Last week, the cryptocurrency realm convulsed like a Dostoevskian antihero torn between redemption and ruin. Bitcoin’s ascent to $124,000-a fleeting ecstasy-crumbled as inflation’s specter loomed, its claws unsheathed. The Fed, once a savior, now hesitates, dithering between mercy and masochism. 🏦💔

Consider the July CPI: a Janus-faced omen. Headline numbers whispered sweet lies, yet Core CPI-the relentless tormentor-accelerated, gnawing at the Services Sector’s bones. And lo! The PPI surged 0.9%, a three-year high, as if tariffs’ delayed vengeance finally erupted. 🌋💸

Tariffs Ascend the Throne: A Tragi-Comedy of Errors

Trade “experts” (ha!) blame this inflationary geyser on tariffs, those beloved children of trade wars. Companies, once stoic martyrs absorbing costs, now pass the torch of suffering to consumers. A Shakespearean tragedy: none escape the wheel of misfortune. 🎭

The Import Price Index, that Trumpian thorn, pricked the Fed’s delusions. May and June’s calm? A lie. July’s spike-a clarion call: the beast is awake. And the Fed, oh the Fed, wrings its hands like Lady Macbeth, muttering about “inflationary potential.” 🧐

Two Cuts, Not Three: The Market’s Sudden Clarity

Thursday’s euphoria-a 50-basis-point cut hinted!-was but a dream. By Friday, Bessent retracted, a chastened man. Bitcoin, betrayed, collapsed. Two cuts now loom-a cruel arithmetic that ETFs and Binance deposits alike cannot escape. A surge in deposits? A rush to sell, dear reader, as fools flee the storm. 🏃‍♂️🧟

Jackson Hole: Where Central Bankers Play Gods

Powell, our modern Prometheus, will speak at Jackson Hole-a symposium where mortals dare parse the Fed’s riddles. Will he hint at cuts, or offer only ashes? Bowman and Waller, those “doves,” may yet falter, their wings clipped by July’s data. The FOMC minutes, a potential oracle, could revive hope-or seal our doom. 🎯

So, dear investor, brace for volatility. For in this theater of the absurd, Bitcoin’s fate mirrors our own: a dance between greed and despair. May your week be less tragic than the last. 😈

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2025-08-18 04:02