Congress Swears Crypto Law by September, But Will Pigs Fly First? 🐖🚀

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Well now, after more debate than a church picnic over the last piece of fried chicken, the mighty U.S. of A. is supposedly on course to birth a crypto regulation bill by September 30th. This is not my claim, friends—it comes straight from Senator Tim Scott, headman of the Senate Banking Committee, who made this proclamation at a Capitol Hill press hootenanny. Now, the good senator claims they’ll lasso the laws on both them slippery stablecoins and broader crypto doohickeys by the end of September. I’ll believe it when I see it—I’ve seen riverboats with fewer delays.

NEW: SENATE BANKING CHAIR SCOTT SAYS MAJOR #BITCOIN AND CRYPTO BILLS WILL BE PASSED BY AUGUST

“DIGITAL ASSETS ARE CRITICAL TO AMERICAN DOMINANCE.”

— The Bitcoin Historian (@pete_rizzo_) April 12, 2025

Trump’s Timeline vs. Congress Reality

Now, President Donald Trump—our nation’s number-one hair product enthusiast—wanted all this done by August. Turns out, Congress lumbers slower than a mule in molasses, so that’s not happening. But Senator Scott’s September target has folks perkin’ up anyway, since the only thing Congress usually delivers early is recess. Senator Cynthia Lummis, who just yesterday bet her corncob pipe it’d take until New Year’s, is suddenly all for Scott’s plan: “Yes, sir. You’re the chairman, and we will do as you wish.”—though I suspect she had her fingers crossed behind her back.

GENIUS Act Ready—But House Still Hesitating

The GENIUS Act—you bet they picked the catchiest acronym they could dream up—passed the Senate last week, all shiny and hopeful. But now it’s waiting in the House, like a cow at market, for someone to finally cough up the cash (or, in this case, a vote). Scott hollered for the House to hustle it over to the President faster than a greased pig at the county fair, echoing Trump’s wishes. “The president’s mandate to move the GENIUS Act immediately is in the best interest of the American people,” Scott declared, though he stopped short of promising gold-plated Bitcoin for everyone.

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Even Bo Hines—White House crypto adviser extraordinaire—cheered on Scott and Lummis for being in tune with the administration’s “vision” (which I reckon is easier than wrangling House members). But, as usual, someone’s chewing the wrong end of the stick. Representative French Hill from the House Financial Services Committee grumbled that the Senate’s bill and the House’s bill are about as similar as apple pie and apple cider vinegar. Hints of delay abound, but who’s counting at this point?

One More Hurdle?

Yet another hurdle lurks out yonder: the Agriculture Committee needs to put its rubber stamp on the market structure part of the bill. So far, they’re moving at the pace of a tortoise contemplating retirement, so don’t put the champagne on ice just yet.

If by some miracle (or coordinated hustle), all the committees join hands and sing “Kumbaya,” we might see the country get itself a full crypto framework by fall—just in time for folks to argue about something else entirely.

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FAQs

What is the U.S. crypto regulation bill?

It’s a gumbo of laws expected by September 30th, aiming to finally fence in them wild stablecoins (see the GENIUS Act) and rustle up a proper system for the broader crypto corral.

How will the new U.S. crypto framework benefit the industry?

If all the stars (and senators) align, a real framework might give crypto folks enough clarity to keep inventing new ways to try and get rich quick—without stepping on Uncle Sam’s toes too hard.

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2025-06-27 09:51