Ah, the modern age! Where thieves no longer skulk in shadows but dance across blockchains, their audacity as boundless as the steppes. Behold, a tale of our times: a miscreant, linked to the May 2025 Coinbase debacle, has once again flaunted their ill-gotten gains. With a flourish worthy of a circus performer, they converted $22.95 million in DAI to USDC, only to whisk it away to the Solana network-a digital nomad of the most nefarious sort.
According to the ever-watchful eyes of Arkham Intelligence, this scoundrel acquired 100,913 SOL tokens at a princely $227 apiece. A second indulgence, mind you, following their August 2025 purchase of 38,126 SOL. By 09:24 UTC on October 3, the wallet lay bare, holding a paltry $0.47 worth of SOL. One can almost hear the echo of their maniacal laughter as they vanish into the ether, leaving behind a trail of digital breadcrumbs.
This wallet, a veritable Pandora’s box of malfeasance, is tied to the pilfering of over $300 million from Coinbase users. A scheme as elaborate as it is deplorable: call center workers bribed, users duped, and wallets compromised. Over 69,000 souls ensnared in this web of deceit. Authorities, poor souls, continue their Sisyphean task of tracing the hacker and reclaiming the spoils. One wonders if they’ve considered a séance to summon the funds back.
A Symphony of Transactions
Since the breach, our protagonist has been a veritable whirlwind of on-chain activity, flitting between Bitcoin, Ethereum, DAI, and Solana like a bee in a digital garden. In May 2025, they converted $42.5 million in Bitcoin to Ethereum via THORChain-a move as bold as it was brazen. Later, they sold 26,347 ETH for 68.18 million DAI, at an average price of $2,588 per Ethereum. A two-month hiatus followed, only for them to resurface on July 7, purchasing 4,863 ETH valued at $12.55 million. Truly, a life of leisure funded by others’ toil.
Their latest escapade? Moving DAI into USDC and splurging on Solana, a pattern as transparent as it is tiresome. Liquidating assets with the finesse of a con artist, they seek to obscure the source of their ill-gotten gains while maintaining liquidity. One can almost pity them-so much effort to keep their stolen treasure, yet so little joy in its possession. Ah, the folly of man! 🌪️💸
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2025-10-03 18:29