🤑 BofA Warns: Investors Are Broke, Markets Are Doomed! 🌪️

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Ah, mes chers lecteurs, gather ’round and behold the folly of Wall Street! 🕴️ Bank of America, that bastion of financial wisdom, doth proclaim: investors are running on fumes, their coffers as empty as a courtier’s promise! 😱

Lo, the December Global Fund Manager Survey revealeth a scandalous truth: a mere 3.3% of portfolios lieth in cash-the lowest in the annals of history! 📉 Barron’s doth report this madness, and we, the enlightened, must laugh… or weep. 🤡

Stocks and commodities, they say, are the darlings of the hour, swelling to heights not seen since February 2022. 🤑 Yet, mark my words, such optimism is but a masque, hiding the specter of weaker equity performance! 👻

BofA’s sage framework declareth: “Buy when cash is 5%, sell when ’tis below 4%!” 🛑 Yet, fools that they are, investors have plunged below this threshold, dancing on the edge of a precipice! 🕺

“Liquidity is as good as it gets,” quoth Savita Subramanian, BofA’s oracle of equity. 🧙‍♀️ Yet, she foretells a grim future: fewer rate cuts, fading stimulus, and debt levels that would make even Louis XIV blush! 🇫🇷

And what of our fund managers? They are overweight in equities, like a noble overindulging at a banquet, with technology as their favored dish. 🍴 But beware, for such feasts often end in indigestion! 🤢

Thus, dear readers, let us observe this farce with a smile and a shrug, for ’tis the way of the world. 🌍 As Molière once said, “The greater the fool, the greater the comedy.” 🎭

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2025-12-18 20:42