🤑 BitMine’s ETH Hoard: 2.66M Tokens – Crypto’s New Tsar? 🧐

by

Finance

What to know:

  • BitMine Immersion Technologies, in its insatiable quest for digital dominion, has amassed 2.65 million ether tokens-a hoard that whispers of grand ambitions and quieter bank vaults. 🏦
  • As the sun dipped below the horizon on that fateful Sunday, their ledger gleamed with $11.6 billion in crypto, cash, and “moonshots”-a sum that would make even the most stoic accountant blush. 💸

Ah, BitMine Immersion Technologies (BMNR), that modern-day alchemist, has once again stirred the cauldron of finance. In a press release as timely as a summer storm, they announced their ether holdings had swelled to 2.65 million tokens-a figure that, they assure us, constitutes over 2% of the total ETH supply. How quaintly impressive! 🧙♂️

But let us not dwell solely on ether. Their coffers, it seems, are a cornucopia of riches: 192 BTC, $157 million in “moonshot” equities (a term that evokes both rockets and reckless optimism), and $436 million in unencumbered cash. Together, these treasures amount to a staggering $11.6 billion. One wonders if they require a larger vault or merely a more poetic accountant. 📈

Their ether holdings, we are told, have leapt by 200,000 tokens-a mere $820 million-since their last update. Such growth! Such audacity! And yet, their true aspiration is grander still: to own 5% of all ETH. They call it the “alchemy of 5%”, a phrase that drips with both ambition and a hint of magical thinking. 🧪

Tom Lee, Fundstrat’s sage and BitMine’s chairman, proclaims crypto and AI as the “supercycle” narratives of our age. “Decades shall unfold these tales,” he intones, “and ETH, priced at a discount to the future, shall shine.” How poetic! One imagines him gazing into the horizon, a visionary amidst a sea of spreadsheets. 🌅

BitMine, it appears, reigns supreme in the ETH treasury realm, leaving rivals like SharpLink Gaming (with their paltry 838,730 ETH) in the dust. Together, these firms hold 5.26 million ETH-a modest 4.34% of the supply. Yet, one cannot help but wonder: is this a triumph of foresight or a folly of greed? 🤔

Shares, meanwhile, have risen by 3% in premarket trading, buoyed by ETH’s weekend ascent to $4,110. The markets, it seems, approve of such extravagance. Or perhaps they simply enjoy a good spectacle. 🎭

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2025-09-29 16:47