In a development as predictable as a monsoon in the tropics, China’s Ministry of State Security has deigned to inform its subjects that certain foreign ne’er-do-wells are employing the siren song of cryptocurrency tokens to ensnare the unwary and pilfer their iris scans. These miscreants, no doubt sipping martinis in some shadowy offshore lair, are said to be dispatching said ocular data to foreign climes, thereby imperiling both the sacred privacy of the individual and the august security of the nation. 🌍
Officials, with all the gravitas of a vicar warning against the evils of jazz, urge citizens to resist the allure of these digital trinkets. For what, pray tell, is the value of a few paltry tokens when compared to the sanctity of one’s biometric essence? The theft of such data, they solemnly intone, could lead to identity theft, espionage, or the dreaded specter of cybercrime-a fate more dire than a damp weekend in Brighton. 🕵️♂️
One can only imagine the chagrin of those who have already bartered their irises for a handful of digital doubloons. Alas, the price of folly is eternal vigilance, or so the proverb might be amended. Perhaps next they’ll trade their fingerprints for a NFT of a sad clown. 🎪
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2025-08-06 10:21