In the annals of digital folly, few spectacles rival the farcical dance of Bitcoin‘s hash rate teetering like a drunkard on a tightrope. Matthew Sigel, self-proclaimed prophet of “Digital Asset Research” at VanEck, recently declared the network’s hash rate has plunged by 100 EH/s – a collapse so profound it makes the 2024 halving look like a polite cough. 🤭 At 1,200-1,300 EH/s, the blockchain’s “security” now resembles a sieve with 8% of its digital holes gaping wide open.
Nano Labs’ CEO, channeling his inner Sherlock Holmes, deduced 400,000 mining rigs vanished by dividing numbers on a napkin 📝 (250 TH/s per “unit” – because who checks math anymore?). The culprit? Xinjiang’s mining farms, now reportedly shuttering faster than Soviet bread lines in winter. 🏭
Bitcoin Hash Rate Falls by Most Since 2024 Halving
Ex-Chairman of $CAN says 400k BTC mining machines shut off in China
A mysterious Chinese “regulatory notice” circulated on WeChat™️ like a samizdat pamphlet, demanding companies spill secrets about “virtual currency mining” by December 2025. 📉 How quaint! No outright bans, of course – just a gentle bureaucratic noose tightening. Perfectly reasonable, comrade!
China FUD drags Bitcoin price down
Bitcoin’s price, ever the drama queen, continues its Oscar-worthy performance of “Tragic Hero” 💔. $90,000? Pah! It bounces off that level like a rubber duck in a hurricane, promptly drowned by relentless sellers. 🌪️
Binance, that black-and-yellow crypto wonderland, sees suspiciously spikey volumes during sell-offs. 🚩 Coincidence? Probably! But what’s more entertaining is imagining Chinese miners frantically hawking BTC to pay off “power loss adjustments” or bribe officials. 🧰💸
Official confirmation? None! Evidence? Zilch! But hey, when hash rate drops and sell walls align like celestial spheres, even astrology starts sounding scientific. 🌌
Remember folks – blockchain’s “immutable ledger” isn’t just recording transactions, but humanity’s endless capacity for techno-optimist delusion. 📜✨
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2025-12-15 19:09