What to know, dear reader, is this: the tempestuous tale of Strategy (MSTR), that most audacious of publicly traded bitcoin barons, continues to unfold with the gravity of a Tolstoyan tragedy-though perhaps with fewer peasants and more 💻.
- Behold! Strategy procured a modest 1,229 of the famed cryptocurrency last week, squandering $108.8 million at a princely average price of $88,568 per coin. Their hoard now swells to 672,497 BTC, a treasure trove amassed for $50.44 billion. One might call it a hobby, if one were not so poor.
- To fund this folly, the company resorted to selling $108.8 million worth of common stock-a move that sent their shares into a premarket tailspin, down 1% as if to mock the very concept of stability. Meanwhile, bitcoin, that fickle lover, slipped toward $87,000, leaving investors clutching their pearls. 🐞
Strategy, that modern-day Gatsby of the blockchain, resumed its frenzied bitcoin acquisitions after fattening its US dollar reserves to $2.2 billion the prior week. A feat of financial jujitsu, one might say, though the jury is still out on whether this is genius or madness. 🤷♂️
With an average purchase price of $74,997 per bitcoin, the company’s coffers now gleam with the spoils of its crypto crusade. A noble endeavor, or a Sisyphean folly? Only time-and perhaps a stronger cup of tea-will tell.
In a twist worthy of a Russian novel, the acquisition was funded by the sale of class A common stock, as revealed in a filing that arrived Monday morning like a thunderclap in a teacup. And thus, MSTR shares danced downward, while bitcoin slinked to $87,000, a price that might as well be written in hieroglyphics to the uninitiated.
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2025-12-29 16:32